What if I Want a Divorce but My Spouse Won't Agree?

 Posted on March 11, 2026 in Divorce / Family Law

For many couples, divorce is a mutual agreement that things aren’t working. For some, though, one spouse will absolutely refuse to accept that the other wants a divorce, even if the marriage seems like a lost cause. They might refuse to sign papers or ignore any attempts to address the subject. If this is where you find yourself in your 2026 divorce proceedings, what are you supposed to do?

The reality in Illinois is actually this: you don’t need your spouse's permission to get divorced. While it’s definitely more ideal to work with a spouse who will participate willingly in the process, it’s not necessary. An Oswego divorce attorney can walk you through what divorce proceedings with an inflexible spouse look like.

Why Does Illinois Not Require Both Spouses' Permission to Get Divorced?

Illinois became a "no-fault divorce" state several years ago. Under 750 ILCS 5/401, an Illinois court can grant a divorce based on "irreconcilable differences" alone if the parties have lived separately for at least six months (though this time mandate can be waived if both parties agree). This is proof enough for the court that the relationship has broken down and there is no reasonable chance of saving it.

The idea behind no-fault divorce is that forcing two people to stay legally married against their will does not serve anyone, including children or the courts. This also means that both spouses don’t have to agree that divorce is the right choice.  

What Happens if My Spouse Refuses to Respond or Cooperate?

This situation actually has a name in the legal world: a default divorce. Here is how the process generally works in Illinois when a spouse won’t cooperate:

Serving Your Spouse

Before anything else, your spouse must be officially notified that you have filed for divorce. This is called "service of process." It’s a legal requirement that they be given divorce papers by someone officially designated to do so (i.e.,a process server or sheriff).

If your spouse can’t be found, Illinois law does allow for alternative methods of service, such as publication in a newspaper.

Waiting for a Response

Once your spouse is served, they have 30 days to respond to the divorce petition. If they do not respond within that window, you can ask the court to enter a default judgment. This means the court can grant your divorce and approve your proposed terms without your spouse's input.

What Issues Does a Default Divorce Address in Illinois?

Just like a divorce where both parties consent, a default divorce will address:

• Division of property and debts
• Spousal support, if applicable
• Child custody and parenting time
• Child support

Because your spouse did not participate, the court will generally rely on the information you provided. For this reason, it’s important to be as thorough and accurate as possible about the information you present.

What if My Spouse Shows Up to Fight the Divorce?

Sometimes a spouse won’t agree to the divorce, but will then show up in court to contest it. Your spouse can fight the terms, such as how assets are divided or how much time they get with the children, but they can’t stop the divorce itself from happening.

How Long Will the Divorce Take if My Spouse Fights It?

A contested divorce takes longer and costs more than one where both spouses agree. There is no set timeline, but contested divorces often take anywhere from several months to over a year.

The timeline is dependent  on how complex the issues are and how much the spouses disagree. Hearings may be scheduled, and both sides may need to present evidence. The more disputes there are over property, children, or finances, the longer the process tends to take. Having legal help is especially important in these cases.

Call a Kendall County, IL Divorce Attorney Today

If you are ready to move forward with a divorce but find your spouse unwilling to cooperate, an Oswego divorce lawyer at Loire Krajniak Law, LLC can help. Our firm’s dedicated attorney will make sure all your questions are answered and that you feel prepared for whatever might or might not happen in the courtroom. Call 630-448-2406 today to schedule your free consultation.