When to Talk to Your Children About Divorce

 Posted on August 22, 2025 in Divorce / Family Law

Telling your children that you and your spouse are divorcing is one of the hardest conversations you will ever have. Parents often agonize over when and how to break the news, and the truth is that timing matters. Children need honesty, but they also need stability and reassurance.

As of August 2025, Illinois divorce law continues to prioritize the "best interests of the child" in custody determinations under 750 ILCS 5/602.5. That same principle applies outside of the courtroom: parents should keep their child’s best interests at the center when deciding when to talk about divorce. Our Kane County, IL divorce attorney can offer guidance about this sensitive topic and other difficult parts of your divorce. Call today. 

Timing Matters When Talking to Kids About Divorce

Children are perceptive. They may notice tension at home long before anyone speaks openly about it. Waiting too long can create confusion, but telling them too early, before firm decisions have been made, may create unnecessary anxiety. The best time to have the conversation is when divorce is a definite decision and you can provide clear, age-appropriate information.

For younger children, consistency and security are most important. Parents should wait until a parenting schedule or living arrangement is reasonably certain, so children know where they will sleep and who will care for them. Telling a preschooler, for instance, that "Mommy and Daddy are going to live in different houses" without being able to explain when or how can make them feel unsafe.

Older children and teenagers, on the other hand, often demand more detail. Teens may even have their preferences considered by the court when parenting plans are determined. Parents should still avoid oversharing or blaming one another, but they can be more open about the practical realities, such as changes in schools, activities, or household routines.

Signs You Should Talk About Divorce with Your Kids Sooner Rather Than Later

In some situations, waiting may cause more harm than good. If children are already overhearing arguments, noticing packed bags, or sensing financial strain, it may be time to talk. Children should not be left to imagine worst-case scenarios. They deserve direct, honest reassurance that both parents will continue to love and care for them.

If your kids start asking perceptive questions about divorce, that is usually a sign that they are ready for answers – even if they may be difficult. However, if you can, try to make a plan with your spouse for having these conversations. To the extent possible, coming up with a plan for how you want to frame the divorce can give your kids a sense of stability and consistency. Whatever happens, do not blame your spouse or share personal, private details of your marriage with your children, no matter how old they are. Save those conversations for other adults. 

Contact a Geneva, IL Divorce Attorney

If you are facing divorce and wondering how and when to tell your children, you do not have to navigate this decision alone. A compassionate Kane County divorce lawyer can guide you through the process while protecting your children’s best interests. Call Loire Krajniak Law, LLC at 630-448-2406 today to schedule a free consultation.